KF* See List of Plays on 2d, 3d and 4th pages of Cover. 



No. CLIir. 



THE MINOR DRAMA. 



-^-•■^♦.- 



THE 



MUSARD BALL; 

OR, 

LOVE AT THE ACADEMY. 



§1, Contemporaneous (Sxtrabaganja, in ©ne girf. 

BY JOHN BEOUaHAM, COMEDIAN. 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, STAGE BUSINESS, COSTUMES, 
RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c., &c. 



^■Ke««^>- 



AS PERFORMED AT BURTON'S THEATRE. 



-•.^.«^ 



N E W - Y R K : 

SAMUEL FRENCH, 

122 Nassau Street, (Up Stairs.) 











FRESC] 

Price 12 

VOL. I. 


3'S STAI 

ly^ Cents each 


^DARD DRAMA, 

.— Bound Volumes $1. 






VOL. II. 


VQL. III. 


VOL. IV. 






1 . Ion, 1 0. The Stranger, 


17. The Poor Gentleman 


25. Virginius, 






2. Fazio, 10. Grandfather White- 


18. Hamlet, 


26. King of the Commons 






3. The Lady of Lyons, 


n. Richard III. [head, 


19. Charles IL 


27. London Assurance, 






4. Kichelieu, 


12. Love's Sacrifice, 


20. Venice Preserved, 


28. The Rent Day, 






5. The Wife, 


13. The Gamester, [ache, 


21. Pizarro, 


29. Two Gentlemen of 






6. The Honeymoon, 


14.^ Cure for the Heart- 


22. The Love Chase, 


Verona, 






7. The School for Scandal 


15. The Hunchback, 


23. Othello, [lings. 


30. The Jealous Wife, 






8. Money, 


16. Don Caesar de Bazan, 


24. Lend me Five Shil- 


31. The Rivals, 






With a Portrait and Me- 


AVith a Portrait and Me- 


With a Portrait and Me- 


32. Perfection, 






moir of Mrs. A. C. 


moir of Mr. CHARLES 


moir of Mr. W. E. BUR- 


AVith a Portrait and Me- 






MOWATT. 


KEAN. 


TON. 


moir of J. H. HACKETT " 






VOL. V. 


VOL. VI. 


VOL. VII. 


VOL. VIII, 






33. A Kew Way to Pay 


41. Speed the Plough, 


49. Road to Ruin, 


57. The Apostate, 






Old Debts, 


42. Romeo and Juliet, 


50/ Macbeth, 


58. Twelfth Night, 






34. Look Before You Leap 


43. Feudal Times, 


51. Temper, 


59 Brutus, 






35. King John, 


44. Charles the Twelfth, 


52. Evadne, 


60. Simpson k, Co. 






36. Nervous Man, 


45. The Bridal, 


53. Bertram, 


61. Merchant of A^enice, 






37. Damon and Pythias, 


46. The Follies of a Night 


54. The Duenna, 


62. Old Heads and Young 






33. Clandestine Marriage 


47. The Iron Chest, 


55. Much Ado About No- 


Hearts, 






39. William Tell, 


48. Faint Heart Never 


thing, 


63. Mountaineers. 






40. Day afterthe Wedding 


Won Pair Lady, 


56. The Critic, 


64. Three Weeks After 
Marriage. 






"With a Portrait and Me- 


With a Portrait and Me- 


With a Portrait and Me- 


With a Portrait and Me- 






moir of G. GOLMAN, 


moir of E. BULWER 


moir of R. B. SHERI- 


moir of Mr. GEORGE 






the Elder. 


LYTTON. 


DAN. 


H. BARRETT. 






VOL. IX. 


VOL, X. 


VOL. XI. 


VOL. XII. 






65. Love, 


73. Henry VIII. 


81. Julius Cfesar, 


89. Ingomar, 






66. As You Like It, 


74. Married and Single, 


82. Vicar of Wakefield, 


90. Sketches in India, 






67. The Elder Brother, 


75. Henry IV. 


83. Leap Year, 


91. Two Friends, 






68. Werner, 


76. Paul Pry. 


84. The Catspaw, 


92. Jane Shore, 






69. Gisippus, 


7T. Guy Mannering, 


8). The Passing Cloud, 


93. Corsican Brothers, 






TO. Town and Country. 


78. Sweethearts and 


86. Drunkard, 


94. Mind Your Own Bus- 






Tl. King Lear, 


Wives, 


87. Rob Roy, 


iness, 






72. Blue Devils, 


79. Serious Family. 

80. She Stoops to Con- 


S3. George Barnwell, 


95. Writing on the Wall, 

96. Heir at Law, 






With a Portrait and Me- 


quer, 


With a Portrait and Me- 








moir of Mrs. SHAW. 


With a Portrait and Me- 


moir of Mrs. JOHN 


With a Portrait and Me- 








moir of Miss C. CUSH- 


SEFTON. 


moir of Mr. THOMAS 








MAN. 




HAMBLIN. 






VOL. XIII. 


VOL. XIV. VOL. XV. 


VOL. XVI. 






97. Soldier's Daughter, 


105. Game of Love, 


113. Ireland As It Is, 


121. The Tempest, 






93. Douglas, 


106. Midsummer Night's 


114. Sea of Ice. 


122. The Pilot, 






99. Marco Spada, 


Dream, 


115. Seven Clerks, 


123. Carpenter of Rouen, 






100. Nature's Nobleman, 


107. Ernestine, 


116. Game of Life, 


1'24. King's Rival, 






101. Sardanapalus, 


108. Rag Picker of Paris, 


117. Forty Thieves, 


1'25. Little Treasure, 






102. Civilization, 


109. Flying Dutchman, 


118. Bryan Boroihme, 


126. Dombey and Son, 






103. The Robbers, 


110. Hypocrite, 


119. Romance & Reality. 


127. Parents and Guard- 






104. Katharine and Pe- 


111. Therese, 


120. Ugoliuo, 


128. Jewess. [ians, 






ti'uchic. 


112. La Tour dc Nesle, 










With a Portrait and Me- 


With a Portrait and Me- 


With a Portrait and Me- 








moir of Mr. EDWIN 


moir of Mr. JOHN 


moir of Mr. BARNEY 








FOREST. 


BROUGHAM. 


WILLIAMS. 








VOL. XVII. 


VOL. XVIII. 


VOL. XIX. 


VOL. XX. 






129. Camille, 


137. Night and Morning, 


145. Dred, or the Dismal 


153. French Spy, 






130. Married Life, 


138. .fithiop, 


Swamp, 


154. Wept of Wish-ton 






131. Weulock of Wenlock 


139. Three Guardsmen, 


146. Last Days of Pom- 


AVish, 






132. Rose of Ettrickvale, 


140. Tom Cringle, [ken. 


147. Esmeralda, [peii, 


155. Evil Genius, 






133. David Copperfield, 


141. Henriette, the Forsa- 


143. Peter Wilkins, 


156. Ben Bolt, 






134. Aline, or the Rose of 


142. EiistacheBaudin, 


149. Ben the Boatswain, 


157. Sailor of France, 






135. Pauline, [Killarney, 


143. Ernest Jfaltravers, 


150. Jonathan Bradford, 


l.>8. Red Mask, 






136. Jane Eyre. 


144. Bold Dragoons. 


151. Retribution, 


159. Life of an Actress, 






" 152. Miaerali. 


160. Wedding Day. 






VOL. XXI. • 


VOL. XXII. 


VOL, XXIII. 


VOL. XXIV. 






ICl. All's Fair in Love, 


169. Son of the Night, 


177. Actress of Padua, 


185. Young New York. 






162. Hofer, 


170. Rury O'More, 


178. Floating Beacon, 


186. The Victims. 






163. Self, 


171. Golden Eagle, 


179. Bride of Lammer- 


1S7 Romance after Mar- 






164. Cinderellaj^ 

165. Phantom, 


172. Rienzi. 


moor, fses, 
180. Cataract of the Gan- 


133 Brigand, [riage. 






173. Broken Sword, 


139 Poor of New York, 






166. Franklin, 


174. Rip Van Winkle, 


181. Rubber of the Rhine 


liK) Ambrose Gwinett, 






167. The Guumaker of 


175. Isabelle. 


W2. School of Reform, 


191 Kavmond and Agnes, 






Moscow, 


176, Heart of Midlothian. 


183. Waniiering Boys, 


192 Gambler's Fate, 






168. The Love of a Prince 




184. Mazeppa. 








[ Catalogue continued on third page of coverJ] 





THE mi NOR DRAMA 

THE ACTI2;G edition. 

No. CLIII. 



»* ' '<■» ■ 



THE MUSARD BALL; 

OR, 

LOVE AT THE ACADEMY. 

^ dTontemporancons €rtrabaganp, in ©ne gict. 

BY JOHN BROUGHAM, COMEDIAN. 



TO WHICH ARE ADDED 

A description of the Costume— Cast of the Characters— Entrances and Exits- 
Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and the "whole of the 

Stage Business. 



AS PERFORMED AT BURTON'S THEATRE. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, In the year 1358, bv John Brougham, In the Clerk's Office of 
the District Court of the United States for the Southern District of New York. 



-*-t — — *-t~ 



NEW YORK: 
SAMUEL FEENCH, \j -l>^' 
122 Nassau Street, (Up Stairs.) 




\\ 



1^ 






\' 



CAST OF THE CHARACTERS.— [The Musaed Ball.] 

The Hon. Hiram Doolittle Duggins, Ambassador, Mr. Burton. 

Orlando Furioso Brown, of the Staff, Mr. Brougham. 

Captain Polar, his Friend and Adviser, Mr. Barrett. 

Tom Jones, Brother to Fanny Mr. McRae. 

William Mr. Paul. 

Stamper, ) p„,ieen,en, \ Mr Gledhill. 

Stumper, ) i Mr. Bruce. 

Mrs. H. D. Duggins Mrs. Hudson Kirby. 

Fanny Jones, Sister to Tom Miss Miller. 

Time — The Contemporaneous. 



/". 



THE MUSARD BALL. 



SCENE I. — Retiring Room of the Opera — a string of people seen passing 
through Ike back ground to cloak room. 

Mrs. Duggtxs enters with Polar. 

Mrs. D. Thank you, sir. I am very much obliged to you, indeed. 
I don't believe I have lost much — a diamond brooch and my lace 
mantilla, nothing more. 

Pokr. Nothing more ! She talks Arabian Nights ! Can I do any- 
thing ? go any where ? would there be any chance of my finding the 
lost valuables ? 

Mrs. D. It doesn't matter. I have lost something yet more precious. 

Polar. Indeed ! and what may that be ? 

Mrs. D. A husband, sir ! 

Polar. Oh, lord! hem ! I mean happy man ! 

Mrs. D. AVhat, sir, to have lost me ! 

Polar. No, -madam, if I may so express myself, to have ever found 
so — pardon me if I may so express myself — as it were so angelic a 
creature. 

3Irs. D. You flatter, sir, but perhaps you will oblige me still more 
by looking for 

Polar. Your — if I may so express myself— most fortunate husband, 
raadame. 

Mrs. D. No, the diamonds ; him I shall be sure to find ; his jealous 
regard for me won't keep him long away. 

Polar. May I make so bold as to ask where he is gone to ? 

3Irs. D. Only to the cloak room. 

Polar. Ah ! then if he should happen to be at the tail of that long 
eingle file, you may probably meet at breakfast, not before. 

3Irs. D. Dear me, dear me ; what shall I do ? pray, sir, do try to 
find hira^or me. 

Polar. Certainly, madame, on the instant. 



> 



4 THE MUSx\.RD BALL. 

Mrs. D. Stay, sir. there is one important matter which yoa seem to 
have forgotten, you probably don't know his name. 

Polar. Madame, I should only have to inquire for the liege lord of — 
if I might take the liberty to say so — the most lovely lady at the ball. 

Mrs. D. It might facilitate your progress better, sir, to ask for his 
Excellency, Mr. Hiram Doolittle Duggins. 

Polar. His Excellency ! proud of the commission, madame ; on 
the wings, if I may so express myself, of respectful admiration — would 
I might say love but I won't — I fly. \_Goes off at hack. 

Mrs. D. Singularly excitable, but very obliging indeed ; what a 
bore this is, if my husband has to wait his turn amongst all these 
people, moving as they are, about an inch an hour ; there's no know- 
ing when I shall see him. Ha! there's a private room, it will be 
more agreeable to wait there. There's no pleasure without its cost, 
and this is a somewhat expensive one, indeed. \_ExU. 

Enter Hieam. 

Hiram. Not here ! I knew it, I felt it ! I saw that impudent military 
fellow's outrageous eye upon her, and she returned his glances. 
I didn't look, but I felt it burning here ; I told her to wait in this 
apartment, no, no, it was more agreeable to flirt with some mus- 
tachioed coxcomb, and now I've lost my place in that confounded 
Indian file, and must tail on again at the interminable end. She 
would come to this infernal ball of course, for the opportunity to 
enjoy her coquettithly torturing disposition. I know I look ridiculous. 
I'm sure I feel ridiculous in this mountebank attire. I wish to heaven 
there was a corner I could hide myself in until all those grinning 
monkeys were gone, but its no use, I must go through with it. Oh, 
Anna Matilda, what a fool you've made of me. 

[ Goes off running against Brown. 

Enter Brown and Polar. 

Brawn. Ten thonsand pardons, Mr. You didn't happen to see a 

blue domino and pink hat, 

Hiram. The very individual habiliments I am looking for myself. 
Of what possible interest can they be to you. 

Broion. Interest to me, stranger, with the incomprehensible rig, 
don't be impertinent ; what is it to you, if it comes to that? 

Hiram. Simply, my military friend, because they appertain to me. 

Broivn. Insatiable monopolizer, do you own all the blue dominoes 
and pink hats in the place ? 

Hiram. No, sir, but I've watched you all the night, and all I have 
to say to you is beware! lest you rouse the anger of an injured 
husband. 

Broion. Depart, amorphous institution ! make yourself scarce, 
organic compound of forgotten ages ! My blue domino is young and 
fresh, and plump as Hebe ; no desperate fate could link her with a 
mate like thee. 

Hiram. You're complimentary, my military friend, but it's late, 
and I suppose you've been in the Committee room ; but have a care, 
the vengeful eye of a husband and father is upon you. Confound it, 
I've lost my place. 



THE MCSARD BALL. 6 

Man at top. Here you are, sir, I've kept it for you. 

Hiram. I'm very much obliged to you, indeed, sir. [Goes up. 

Polar. What the deuce is the meaning of all this ecstasy. 

Brown. I'm in the seventh heaven of delight ; don't you remember 
that photograph I fell in love with at Brady's ? The bright and 
beautiful original was here to-night— smiled on me immensely — looked 
graciousness and almost love out of her most lustrous eyes ! Bathed 
me in an atmosphere of joy with one delicious glance. 

Polar. What a susceptible brute you are, Brown. You seem to 
forget there's such a being in existence as Fanny Jones. 

Hiratn. \_At top.'] Beware ! 

Brown. What a cruelly unsentimental savage you are, Polar ; can 
not a comprehensively ardent, and illimitable lover of the whole 
elysian sex, enjoy a temporary abberation of meteoric felicity without 
calling his attention to the one fixed star of his affection. I know that 
every eye full of admiration diverted from my heart's allegiance is 
high treason against King Cupid ; but the provocation, my friend — 
the provocation. 

Hiram. [^Getting towards wing.'] Be warned, military individual. 

Brown. Pshaw ! I heed you not, travel ! highly decorated turtle ! 
I wish you a pleasant march to the cloak room. 

Hiram. You, sir, confound it all, you're walking on my corns ! 

Brown. My heart's on fire, my throat is parched ; a little brandy 
and water would be a reviver. Why, what an insensible piece of half- 
animated Russ pavement you are. Did you see her look at me with 
that bewildering glance, the slightest draught of which plunges a 
fellow's very soul into a fever of intoxication ? 

Polar. I'm no believer in ecstatics — in fact, I don't think, if I may 
be allowed the expression, that she looked at you at all. But you 
are one of those self-stultified Broadway loungers, who imagine that 
every good-looking woman that they meet is captivated by their 
passing glance. There are whole squads of you to be met there any 
day. 

Brown. You fish-blooded Zoophite ? you big black negative cloud 
upon life's beautiful horizon ! What do you know about the rr spon- 
sive interchange of emotional electricity — the fiery ray of lightning- 
like intelligence, that in a thought, conveys to each the consciousness 
of an awakened interest ? 

Polar. Nothing. I should simply call your absurd rhapsody — if I 
may so express it — a transcendental description of the common im- 
pertinence of staring impudently at respectable ladies. 

Brown. You're a stock, a stone, a clothes-block, a mere mechanical 
absorber of regular meals, a poor, miserable, no-hearted combination 
of head and stomach ! By all my hopes and joys, she's here ! Away, 
away! leave me a few blessed moments with her alone! 

Polar. Remember Fanny. 

Broion. Her star's eclipsed, for Diana has arisen ; the night hun- 
tress comes to her Endymion. Disperse, dark cloud, disperse ! 

{Exit POLAK. 
Enter Mrs. Dugoins. 

Beautiful Luna 1 do we meet at last ? 



6 THE MUSARD BALL. 

3Ir?. D. What do you mean, sir ? Are yon mad ? 

Broicn. Mad, yes ; mad with delight and boundless admiration ; a 
lunatic, sweet Luna, moon-stricken to the very heart. 

3Irs. B. This is simply insolent, sir. I do not know you. 

Broicn. Oh, say not that ; let me not feel that my impassioned 
glance was hurled against a rock of granite ! Times without number 
have we passed each other ; and at each succeeding turn, I drank 
more deeply at those fountains of delight, your eyes. 

Mrs. D. Pardon me, sir, if I say that the extremity of your bold- 
ness is but partially excused, by the knowledge that you must have 
been indulging at a more potent fountain. 

Broicn. isiightly, only — just to give me the necessary courage to 
make this respectful avowal : I'm in love, delectable Luna. Permit 
me but to touch that beauteous hand. \jrakes her hand. 

Filter DuGGixs — he starts. 

Dug. Ha! what do I see? I knew it. Unhappy woman! could 
you not refrain from bringing disgrace upon my head, even in this 
public place? 

Mrs. D. You are in error, my husband, indeed you are. 

Brown. I should like to know, irate individual in the wonderful 
garments, what your head has got to do with it? 

Dug. Everything, impertinent jackanapes ; this lady is my wife. 

Broicn. No, no, no ; that cannot, shall not be. Magnificent Luna ! 
orbicular excellence ! deny the terrible words of this disagreeable 
intruder. 

3Irs. D. This gentleman is my husband, sir. and I am pleased that 
he has so opportunely relieved me from your incoherent and abusive 
protestations. 

Dug. Is this a blind to deceive me? — she's laughing, and so is he — 
it is. I'll be calm, but resolute. Revenge is left me, and I will have 
it. Anna Matilda, you will do me the favor to wait for me in yonder 
room. 

Mrs. D. No violence, no scenes, piram ; it is only worthy of your 
laughter. 

Bug. I'm well aware of it. I do laugh at it — will laugh at it — ha, 
ha ! You see how excruciatingly funny I think it. [Hands her to room. 

Broicn. Well, after all, it is rather a laughable affair. Married, and 
to this apochryphal concern ! Dreadful fate ! melancholy termination 
of my meteoric flame ! 

Dug. Sir, I believe I told you to beware how you provoked an in- 
jured husband's wrath. 

Broicn. Yes, I believe you did. 

Dug. It would have been better for you had you heeded my words. 

Browu. A mere diflerence of opinion between us. I don't see that 
exactly. 

Dug. It will be my pleasant duty to open your eyes. You are 
aware, I presume, sir, of the alternative your conduct has entailed 
upon you. 

Broicn. Haven't the slightest idea.. 

Dug. "We must meet, sir. 



THB MTaARD BALL. ? 

Brou-n. As often as yon please, hospitable creature. 

Dug. Pshaw, sir 1 I'm in no humor for such untimely jesting, One 
of us must die. 

Brown. Both, my good friend, according to the immutable laws of 
nature. 

Dug. In this case, sir, the equally immutable laws of honor may 
precipitate the crisis. 

Broivn. Don't be abstruse, incomprehensible institution, elucidate. 

Dug. In one desperate word, sir — your card ! 

Brmcn. Oh, I see. But don't you think this is carrying the joke a 
trifle too far? I don't mind taking a drink with you, but fighting is 
not at ail in my line. 

Dug. Am I to infer that you are a coward, sir ? 

Brown. I can't help what absurd inference you may arrive at. 

Dug. Then, sir, you are a 

Brown. Stop. Hang it, I can't stand that. If you're in earnest, 
I'll accommodate you at twelve paces, to-morrow morning, although 
I would much rather anticipate my usual egg at breakfast. Here's 
my card, sir — it's the only one I have — very lucky I had any. 

Dug. It may be, sir, that neither of us will ever breakfast again. I 
shoot well. 

Brown. {Gives card.'\ I don't. You take this matter too seriously— 
upon my life you do. 

Dug. The honor of an outraged husband is not to be trifled with. 
I shall expect to see you, with a friend, to-morrow morning. \_Exit. 

Brown. You're very obliging. I'll try and be punctual. What 
a very particular sort of old chap he is, to be sure. Who the devil is 

be ? '• The Honorable Hiram Doolittle Duggins, Ambassador to ." 

Phew ! here's a pretty kettle of fish. Have I had the daring presump- 
tion to cast my iniquitous glance at an ambassador's lady ? It's a 
national affair— a star and stripe business, or my name's not Brown. 
Shall I rush in and apologize? No, he'll think me afraid. Egad, I 
must curb these predatory looks, or there's no knowing what mischief 
they may lead me into. But she is such a glorious creature. He 
called her Anna Matilda. Oh, Anna Matilda ! for the transitory de- 
lirium of one unsatisfactory interview, I have to go to bed with the 
pleasing anticipation of being shot in the morning. Bed ! I can't go 
to bed. I'll hunt up Polar, and drown all unpleasant thoughts in 
bumpers of •' Green Seal.' ' {^Exit. 

SCENE II. — Handsome Apartment in Fifth Avenue. 
Enter Mr. and Mrs. Duggins. 

Dug. You can't deceive me, madame. I tell you I saw the encour- 
agement you fjave to that impudent rascal. 

Mrs. D. Alfl will say then, is, that you have a singular facility for 
seeing what doesn't occur. 

Dug. Don't be so aggravatingly impertinent, Anna Matilda. Yon 
know mine is not the most placid disposition. 

Mrs. D. I'm fully aware of that comfortable fact. 

Dug. Oh I why was- 1 not satisfied to remain a widower all my 
life? 



8 TUB MISARD BALL. 

Mrs. D. Ab, why indeed ? I might have been spared the annoyance 
of having to watch the fluctuations of an elderly man's temper. 

Dug. An elderly man ! Anna Matilda, don't beat about the bush ; 
annihilate me with your sarcasm ; say old at once. 

3Irs. D. Well then, old, if you like it better. There, I know what 
you're going to say — your first wife wouldn't have treated you so 
badly. ThQj all say that. 

Dug. You're an ungrateful woman. What have I not done for you ? 
Think of the elevated position in which I have placed you. Look at 
the bills I have paid without a murmur. 

Mrs. D. Extraordinary sacrifice ! Oh. you're a perfect model of a 
husband, in your own estimation. 

Dug. iPerhaps your next one will be more considerate. 

J/y-s. D. Very likely. I shall be a rich widow, I suppose, and can 
aS'ord to pay for my preference, as you did. 

Dug. Pay for it, Anna Matilda. Do you mean to insinuate that 
there was no afi'ection in your marriage with me ? 

Mrs. D. Not a bit. A judicious bargain on both sides — that's all. 

Dug. This is intolerable ! This is unworthy ! To irritate my tem- 
per is bad enough, but thus to assault my heart ! 

Mrs. D. Your what ? I didn't know, really, that you possessed 
that anatomical peculiarity. 

Dug. I see, Madame, that you do not. 

Mrs. D. How can you possibly tell ? 

Du^. It serves me right. It serves me right. What business had 
I to dip again in the lottery of plagues. 

Mr^. D. Lotteries are rather hazardous now-a-day. 

Dug. Mrs. Duggins, this cool, worrying indifference of yours is worse 
to endure than the fiercest vituperation. 

Mrs. D. I'm sorry I can't accommodate yon with an oath or two. 

Dug,. Confound it all, I won't endure it. If you knew the position 
I am in, you might perhaps show more consideration. 

Mrs. D. I see the position you are in, and must confess that it is 
rather a ridiculous one. 

Dug. Anna Matilda, let common humanity force you to evince 
some show of feeling, as I whisper in your ear — I may be brought 
home to you a dead man to-morrow. 

Mrs. D. The dispensations of Providence are beyond human con- 
trol. 

Dug. Heartless woman, listen ! Ere many hours elapse ray life 
will be in peril for your sake. 

Mrs. D. How so, pray ? 

Dug. You shall know in time. Farewell ! cruel, unfeeling Anna 
Matilda ; farewt^U, perhaps for ever. \^Ex'd. 

Mrs. D. Not the remotest fear of such a catastrophe. William ! 

Enter William. 

Tell James to go instantly to the head police station, and inform the 
proper authorities, that two gentlemen may probably attempt tu fight 
a duel to-morrow morning. Then you follow Mr. Duggins to the 
club. He's sure to go there when he's in these tempers. Take care 



THE MUSARD BALL. 9 

that he gets into no mischief, and see him safely home. [Exit Wil- 
liam.] He deserves this lesson, for his absurd and groundless 
jealousy. I know him well, An hour or two will change the entire 
current of his mind, and he'll come back again, all love and repent- 
'^'ice. ^^^if^ 

SCENE III.— Exterior of Lafarge House ; Brown discovered in a dila- 
pidated condition, hanging on to a lamp-post. 

Broum. [_Si7tgs.'] D^n't go away old fel— , let's have another song. 
I'm devlish glad to see you looking so well. Now don't go ; I havn'fc 
met you before for an age. Thank you ! I'll take just one more glass. 
Here, waiter ! another bottle of green seal, and plenty of ice. Sit 
down ; what are you waltzing round the room for, eh ? Hollo ! what 
did you hit me for ? I didn't insult you. Oh ! if you want a fight, 
here goes. There's nothing like winding up with a shindy. Pitch in. 
I wish I could get my coat ofiF. ]_Falh.'] Hollo ! I'm knocked down, 
and hang me if somebody hasn't tacked my coat tail to the floor. 
Now that's a practical joke, and I don't like practical jokes. Oh, 
Anna Fanny Matilda ! sweet, moon-faced creature ! I can't get up. 
I wonder if I've been out, and got shot ? 

Enter Policeman. 

Police. Hallo ! here's a case— pretty far gone too, I'm thinking. 
Capital chance for the garroters. I say, my friend, you se'em to be a 
trifle overcome. 

Broim. One, two, three— fire ! I'm hit ; I know I am, in a vital 
part. Polar, where are you ? Take me home, Polar, and send for 
Fanny. I leave her all I'm worth in the world. I deserved it all. 
Ambassador, I forgive you. I die magnanimous. 

Police. I never saw a man so heavy in liquor ; I must pass him on. 
[Beats foi' assist^nce-l Come, sir, try and stand up. Do you know 
where you are ? 

Brown. Why of course I do, old boy. I'm at Delmonico's, having 
a jolly good time. ^ 

Police. I wouldn't have the jolly good headache you've been manu- 
facturing, my friend, for a trifle. Lord, how weighty he is. Do you 
know where you live? 

Brown. Live! I don't live at all; I'm dead and buried. My 
heart's broken, and my prospects blighted. I'm a ruin, a wreck a 
disgrace to humanity. Tuck me up, and let me sleep for ever. 

Enter Policeman. 

2d Police. What's the muss ? 

Isl Police. Intoxicated party ; don't know where he lives. Let's 
see if he has anything valuable about him ? Didn't like to search 
him before you came. People like to lie about policemen. If they 
but knew the hardships as well as the temptations of our life they 
wouldn't be so apt to libel us. I can find nothing but a card : that 
Will tell us where he lives, anyhow. Ho, ho ! an honorable, eh ! 
has been lobbying somewhere. Fifth Avenue, No. — ; all right. 



10 THE MCiiAKD BALL, 

Just pass him aloug 'Lill you find a hack. Come along, old boy — 
you'll pay for this to-morrow. 

Broicn. Who says it's to-morrow? I was shot, if it's to-morrow. 
Let's go somewhere where there's an oyster. Hurrah I I'm all right 
now, [Sings, and exit. Slight rain. 

Enter Tom Jones and Fanny, as from Evening Party. 

Tom. How provoking this rain is, Fan ; and, of course, no carriage 
in the way. 

Fan. I don't mind it a bit, Tom. I've got my rubbers on, and my 
handkerchief will save my new bonnet. 

Tom. Here's a shelter ; let us stand here until the shower passes. 

[Stands up under portico. 

Jones. Many a laugh we've had, inside these doors, Fanny. 

Fanny. And now they enable us to laugh at the storm outside. 

Jones. We must come to-morrow night out of gratitude. What are 
they playing ? The Musard Ball ; that's the contemporaneous drama. 
Fan. Ha ! ha ! cute fellow, that Burton ; never lets a chance 
pass bye. Hallo! why that's strange, Fanny, look there, the name 
of that scamp, whoever he is, whose letter I found addressed to you, 
Mr. Orlando Furioso Brown. 

Fanny. Its only a coincidence, Jones. Why! there's your name 
and mine ; they haven't dared to put us in a play ? 

Jones. It. would serve you right if they did ; however, this Mr. 
Brown had better not let me get hold of him, that's all. 

Fanny. See, Tom ; look at those ill-looking fellows, evidently fol- 
lowing that old gentleman in the cloak. 

Jones. The ruffians are attacking him. Stay a minute ; they are 
garroters. I'll soon settle their business. [Rushes off. 

Fanny. Brother, be careful. Ha! there's a policeman just round 
the corner ; I'll go and bring him. [Exit. 

Re-enter Jones and Duggins. 

Bug. Thank you, sir, most gratefully for this timely assistance. I 
do believe you have saved my life. You look astonished at finding 
me in this unseemly garb. But the fact is, I have been at Musard' s, 
and thought I would just put my cloak and boots on and meet a few 
friends at the club. 

Jones. Don't apologize, sir. This is a kind of carnival night iu 
New York. I have, myself, just come from a party, with my sister 
here. Why! where's Fanny ? Ah! bless her, she went for a police- 
man ; fortunately we don't require his services. 

Fug. Your prompt assistance, sir, demands of me a more ex- 
tended acknowledgment. Pray do me the favor to call at my house 
to-morrow, and let me date a friendship from this evening. 

[Gives Brown's card. 

Jones. What do I see? Oh ! its you is it? 

I>ug. I am under the impression that it is. 

Jones. Well, then, sir, though I don't regret having thus assisted 
you, 1 can't say that I particularly wish to prolong the acquaintance. 

Dug. Dear me. why not ? 



THE MUSARD BALL. H 

Jones. Your own conscience and the name of Fanny Jones, may- 
enlighten you. 

Dug. On the contrary, sir, they sink me into deeper obscurity. 

Jones. Isn't your name, Orlando Furioso Brown? 

Dug. Bless me, have I given you that rascal's card \ its a mistake, 
sir. I exchanged cards with that impertinent individual this very 
night ; hence this confusion. 

Enter Fanny. 

Jmcs. Fanny, come here. Look at that gentleman ; is he your 
clandestine lover, Brown. 

Fanny. What, this Spanish gentleman ? Dear me, not a bit like 
him. 

Dug. I thought not ; but to dispel any thoughts you may harbor, 
and as it seems to be about to storm again, here is a carriage coming 
up, pray ride with me to my house, and by presenting you to my 
dear wife, I trust all doubt will vanish. 

Jones. What say you, Fanny ; it's rather an unusual hour to make a 
call, but — 

Dug. Come, I insist upon it. This is carnival time, you know, 
and, indeed, my blood's up for an adventure. \_Exeiint. 

SCENE rV. — Drawing-Room in Duggins' house. Dark. 
Enter Policeman and William, carrying Brown on a chair. 

Will. You found him in the street, you say ? 

Police. Yes, he was passed on from beat to beat. We saw by the 
card in his pocket where he lived, and so, thanks to us, here he is, 
safe and sound. 

Will. Dear me, I never saw His Excellency in such a state be- 
fore. You had better leave him here. I'll tell Misses, I'm sure 
she'll be very much obliged to you. 

Police. Not at all, my man, its our duty only ; we do it some- 
times, though they do blow out about us. Good morning. ^Exeunt. 

Brown. Pass the bottle ; I'm dryer than a cart-load of dryed cod- 
fish. I think I'll take plain soda now, with a little drop of brandy in 
the bottom ; all right. Hello! where the deuce am I? v In the street 
I believe ; the night's uncommonly dark, not a star visible, but that's 
not uncommon. Let me collect my scattered senses, what little of 
them are left. There's a terrible uncertain something weighing on 
my heart ; what can it be. Oh ! I was at Musard's last night ; met a 
lovely, bewitching moon, I mean creature ; made myself supremely 
ridiculous ; got challenged, and will have to fight to-morrow ; no, 
to-day ; now, perhaps. What o'clock is it ; early I think. Where 
the deuce am I, at home no doubt. Yes, I know the feel of the 
carpet ; if I could only find my carpet-bag, I'd try and get a sleep. 

Miter Mrs. D. wUh Light. 

Mrs. D. 1 certainly did not expect you'd come home in such a dis- 
graceful plight ; never mind, you'd better retire to bed. 

Drown. Aiigels and ministers of Grace church ! Brown and all. 
What do I see? a lovely vision. What an ecstatic dream. Oh! 



12 IHE MUSARD BALL. 

bewilderin,^ apparition; it's no harm to worship you while I'm asleep ; 
although I'm aware you're nothing but a cloud, yet I must embrace 
you. \_Emhraces her. 

Enter Duggins and Fanny. 

Fanny, my Fanny. Oh ! this is too much for one dream ; its a 
bouquet of intangible delight. I wish I had the arms of Briairius, 
that I might embrace you all. 

Dug. There's a limit to human endurance, sir ; you have reached 
it. You recollect our appointment, sir ; it is almost time now to 
prepare for it. 

Broicn. I am prepared, impatient and belligerent institution. I'll 
fight you now, with any thing in the world. You, anybody, every- 
body in the dream ; damme, I feel that I'm invulnerable. There's 
no back out about Orlando Furioso Brown. 

Jones. You are that impndent varlot, are. you? Then it strikes me 
you'll have to begin with me. 

Fanny. Oh ! no ! no ! brother, for my sake, don't hurt him. 

Brown. Brother, I didn't know I had such a prospective relative 
in existence. Bless her. I'm not worthy of her ; but she does love 
me, and her noble conduct sobers me on the spot. 

Jones. Have you, then, really an affection for the scamp, Fanny? 

Fanny. Unworthy and dreadful as he is, I'm afraid I have. 

Jones. Oh ! just like your incomprehensible sex. 

Brown. I'm a repentant wretch. I wish I knew how to make re- 
paration. Madame, can you forgive the folly that urged me to ad- 
dress you at the ball, and for which presumption I freely confess 
you did not give me the remotest pretext. 

Dug. How, sir ; is this so ? Great, then, though your impudent in- 
terference was, I forgive you, for the relief the knowledge has given 
me. Dare I hope that my darling Anna Matilda will be equally mer- 
ciful. 

3Irs. D. You hardly deserve it ; but, in the hope that the lesson 
you've been taught will banish for ever the groundless jealousy 
which has caused us both so much annoyance, I consent. There's my 
hand. 

Dug. Never, never more shall I insult yoa with a suspicion. Oh, 
Anna Matilda. [Embrace. 

Brown. Fanny, my darling Fanny, although I acknowledge that 
ray fancy has hitherto been occasionally dazzled by meteoric 
lights, you have ever been the fixed star of my affection. Bless me, 
by accepting the love and constancy of my future life ; and as I have 
now no fear of being prematurely disposed of, the slight annoyance 
this contretemps may have caused you will be the only regret I shall 
entertain from having figured at 

THE MUSARD BALL. 



THE END. 



[Catalogue continued from second page qf cover. ^ 



VOL. XXVI. 

201 Adrienne the Actress 

202 Undine, 

203 Jessie Brown, 

204 Asmodeus, 



vol.. XXV. 

193 Father and Son, 

194 Massaniello, 

195 Sixteen String Jack, 

196 Youthful Queen, 

197 Skeleton Witness, 

198 Inkeep' r at Abbeville 

199 Miller aud his Men, 

200 Aladdin. 

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VOL. I. 

1 The Irish Atiorney, 

2 Boots at the Swan, 

3 How to Pay the Rent, 

4 The Loan of a Lover, 

5 The Dead Shot, 

6 His Last Legs, 

7 The Invisible Prince, 

8 The Golden Farmer. 

With a Portrait and Me- 
moir of JOHN SEFTON 

VOL. V. 

33. Cncknies in California 

34. Who Speaks First? 

35. Boinhasti's Furioso, 

36. Mncbeih Travestie. 

37. Irish Aml^assador, 

38. Delicate (i round, 

39. The Weathercock, 

40. All that Glitters is 

not Gold. 

\rith a Portrait and Me- 
moir of W. A. GOOaLL. 

VOL. IX. 

65 Temptation. 

66 Paddy Carey, 

67 Two Gresories, 

68 King Charming, 

69 Po-ca-hon-tas, 

70 Clock maker's Hat, 

71 Married Kake, 

72 Love and Murder. 



VOL. xriL 

• 97 My Wife's Mirror, 

98 Life in New York, 

99 Middy Ashore, 

100 Crown Prince, 

101 Two Queens, 

102 Thumping Legacy, 

103 UnfinishedGentleman 

104 House Dog. 

VOL. XVII. 

129 Mischief-Making, 
LtO A Live M"onian in the 
131 The Corsair, [Mines, 
i:J2 Shylock, 

133 Spoiled Child, 

134 Evil F.yo, 

135 Nothing to Kurse, 

136 Wanted a Widow, 



VOL.11. 
9. Pride of the Market, 

10. Used Up, 

11. The Irish T'jtor, 

12. The Barrack Room. 

13. Luke the Laborer, 

14. Beauty and the Beast, 

15. St. Patrick's K\e, 

16. Captainof the Watch. 

With a Portrait and Me- 
moir of Miss C. WEM- 
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VOL. VI. 

41. Grimshaw, Bagsh&w 

and Bradshaw, 

42. Rough Diamond, 

43. Bloomer Costnine, 

44. Two Bonnycastles, 

45. Born to Good Lnck, 

46. Kiss in the Dark, 

47. 'Twould Puzzle a 

Conjuror, 

48. Kill or Cure. 

AVith a Portrait and Me- 
moir of F. M. KKXT. 

VOL. X. 

73 Ireland and America, 

74 Pretty Piece of Busi- 

ness, ' 

75 Irish Broom-maker, 

76 To Paris and Back for 

Five Pounds, 

77 That Blessed Bahr, 

78 Our Gal, 

79 Swiss Cotlai^e, 

80 Young Widow. 

VOL. XIV. 

105 The Demon Lover, 

106 Matrimony, 

107 In and Out of Pl.ace. 

108 I Dine with Mv .Mo- 

109 Hi-a-wa-Iha, [ther, 
no Andy Blake, 

111 Love in '76, ['-iiltics 

112 Romance under l;iffi- 

VOL. XVIU. 

I.'?" Lottery Ticket, 
138 Fortune's Frolic, 
[,39 Is he .lea'ious ? 
140 Married Bachelor, 
[41 Husband at Si.?ht, 

142 Irishman in London, 

143 Animal Maznetism, 

144 Highways & By-Ways 



VO 




012 071 



17 The Secret, [Peppers 

18 White Horse of the 

19 The Jacobite, 

20 The Bottle. 

21 Box and Cox, 

22 Baraboozlins;, 

23 Widow's Victim, 

24 Robert Macaire. 

With a Portrait and Me- 
moir of Mr. S. S. 
CUANFRAU. 

VOL. VII. 

49 Box and Cox ilarried 

50 St. Cupid [and Settled 

51 Go-to-bed Tom, 

52 The Lawyers, 

53 Jack Sheppard, 

54 The T oodles, 

55 The Mobcap, 

56 Ladies Beware. 
AVith a Portrait and Me 

moirof SOL.S.MITH. 



VOL. XI. 

81 O'Flannigan and the 

82 Irish Post, [Farics 

83 My Neighbor's Mife, 

84 Irish Tiger, 

85 P.P., or Man & Tiger, 

86 To Oblige Benson, 

87 Stale Secrets, 

88 Irish Yankee. 



VOL. XV. 

113 One Coat for 2 Suits, 

114 A Decided Case, 

115 Daughter, [Minority, 

116 No; or, the Gloriou.s 

117 Coroners Inquisition 

118 Love in Humble Life, 

119 Family Jars, 

120 Personation. 

VOL. X X. 

145 Columbus, [Beard 

146 Harlequin Blue 

147 Ladies at Home 
143 Phenomenon in a 

Smock Frock, 



25 Secret Service, 

26 Omnibus, 

27. Irish Lion, 

28. Maidof Croissv, 

29. The Old Guard, 

30. Raising the Wind, 

31. Slasher and Crasher, 

32. Naval Engagements. 

With a Portrait and Me- 
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TELBIN. 

VOL. vin. 

57 Morning Call, 

58 Popping the Question, 

59 Deaf as a Post, 

60 New Footman, 

61 Pleasant Neighbor, 
C2 Paddy the Piper, 
63 Brian O' Linn, 

04 Irish Assurance. 



VOL. XII. 

89 A Good Fellow, 

90 Cherry and "air Star, 

91 Gale Breezely, 

92 Our Jemimr, 

93 Miller's Maid, 

94 Awkward Arrival, 

95 Crossing the Line, 

96 Conjugal Lesson. 



VOL. XVI. 

121 Children in the Wood 

122 Winning a Husband, 
]1!3 Day after the Fair, 

124 Make Your Wills, 

125 Rendezvous, 

126 My Wife's Husband, 

127 Monsieur Tonsen, 

128 Illustrious Stranger. 



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